Dear Suzi,

I had an abortion when I was 17, and now I am 35. I needed to finish high school so that I could go to college and fulfill my dreams.

Today I am a professional business woman, married to a wonderful man, and the mother of three beautiful children.

This topic seems to bother me so much, especially after all these years. Is there any way that I can learn to be content with the wonderful life that I have?

“Help Me Stop the Craziness”

======================

I am going to let Debbie, one of the mentors for our Care Net post-abortion recovery class, Forgiven & Set Free, answer this question for you.

Suzi

======================

Dear Help Me Stop the Craziness:

Let me assure you that abortion is an equal opportunity destroyer. It touches the lives of blacks, whites, men, women, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, pro-life and pro-choice; it truly harbors no discrimination. Please know that you are not alone in your feelings of uncertainty concerning your abortion experience.

Eighty percent of women who choose abortion suffer some form of post-abortion stress syndrome. The symptoms of post-abortion stress syndrome will not necessarily appear at the same time, and it is not likely that any woman will experience the entire list. Some symptoms may occur immediately after an abortion while others may appear much later.

Some of the symptoms are:

• anger or rage
• crying spells
• depression or anxiety
• desire for secrecy
• drug or alcohol abuse
• eating disorders
• self-punishing behaviors
• emotional numbness
• inability to forgive yourself
• low self-esteem
• nightmares or flashbacks
• sadness or sorrow
• severe guilt or regret
• sexual dysfunction
• suicidal thoughts or impulses

If you identify with two or more of these symptoms, you could be experiencing a form of post-abortion stress syndrome.

Contrary to popular belief this is not a syndrome that affects only Pro-Life women or women who regret their abortions. There are plenty of Pro-Choice women who have experienced post-abortion stress syndrome.

There are also many women who feel their abortion was the right choice and don't regret it, yet still have problems with post-abortion stress syndrome. This is a medical condition, and has nothing to do with political views or religious values. This syndrome is politically and religiously neutral!

The process of making an abortion choice, experiencing the procedure, and living with the grief, pain and regret is certainly, at its core, extremely traumatic. Women are not encouraged to talk about the feelings associated with their abortion. Our society says that abortion is legal and its okay, but it remains a secret for those who so choose. No one wants to hear about the woman who has chosen abortion.

If abortion is right, then why do we keep it a secret? The inability to discuss her abortion experience leaves a woman alone to sort out her feelings. The grief a woman can experience after an abortion is seldom recognized and is often repressed or denied.

Post-abortion stress syndrome occurs because a woman is not allowed to go through the many steps necessary to complete the grieving process. Our society recognizes the need for a woman to grieve after a miscarriage, but because a woman chooses abortion voluntarily, her grief after it is not understood, supported, or even allowed.

While your abortion took place a long time ago, it appears that you are still carrying the secret and living with the guilt and shame from your past. The good news is that it is never too late to receive help for post-abortion stress syndrome.

A woman who is experiencing this syndrome needs to complete the natural grieving process, and this can be achieved through individual counseling or group therapy. It has been my experience that post-abortion recovery groups are the most beneficial, since one of the issues that we are dealing with is not being able to share with others our abortion experience. Meeting in these recovery group settings allows us the freedom and safety to share with others who understand our pain and sufferings.

Many women simply don't associate their problems today with their past abortion experience, but many times it is at the core. Abortion is an unnatural and traumatic event for women and they need to take time to heal from the pain and destruction that it causes.

Debbie

=====================

Editor's note:

Dear Suzi offers a point of view which is independent of the views of the Carbon County Magazine.

We would like to know your feelings.
Do you—Agree? Disagree?
Send your comments to:
info@carboncountymagazine.com

=====================

Info on the Care Net program:

Care Net of Carbon County offers, "Forgiven and Set Free." This 11-week faith-based confidential study will gently guide you through the emotional scars from your abortion to where true and lasting healing can take place.

Some of the areas this study helps women to deal with are:

• Relief and Denial
• Anger, Forgiveness
• Depression
• Letting Go
• Acceptance

Why a faith-based program you might ask? Well, 95 percent of all abortion recovery programs are Christ-based.

Contact Care Net to registrar for the upcoming Post-Abortion Recovery Group, Forgiven & Set Free, forming now.